Black As My Soul, Part II (or I'll Take It... If It Comes In Black)

For any people reading this post thinking, um... this might be about fashion, and I should run away.  It is, but you shouldn't run away!  I promise.  It's not as scary as you think.  Here's why: clothes are tools.

Yes, clothes are tools.

Let me explain.

When I was in 7th grade, my wardrobe consisted of XXL sweatshirts from Eddie Bauer that completely obscured my form and jeans that kind of sort of fit.  That was what I wore, every day.  It did absolutely nothing for my self-esteem (which was already at an all time low), and absolutely nothing for my time in 7th grade.

Fast forward 4 years to the summer between 10th and 11th grade, and I was happily at Interlochen Fine Arts Camp, with... drum roll please!  ... FRIENDS!  I had made friends.  Wonderful sweet friends who liked me for me.  It was the best summer of my childhood.  One of the most memorable experiences was when I borrowed clothes from my cabin mates for a dance.  My mother had insisted I only needed to pack uniforms, so I had nothing of my own to wear.  I gave back to my cabin mates by helping them with their hair, and returning the items, freshly washed.  However, for the first time in my life, I recognized that feeling pretty as a girl was in and of itself a super power.  It didn't matter how other people reacted to what you wore, although favorably was nice; that wasn't what mattered.  If you had the confidence that you looked good, you could do anything!  It was a revelation for me.

For the next several years, I consistently read fashion magazines (along with the classic novel in my bag... just depended on my mood).  It wasn't for the gossip or the celebrities.  It was for the clothes.  All the textures of the fabrics.  All the different looks and how you could change or modify your form with the design of the clothing.  All of it was immediate love.

During one of my summers during college, I worked at the mall in a post-pregnancy - middle aged to older women's clothing store.  I was able to use my knowledge to transform anyone's appearance into something the wearer found favorable.  Not all women want to look pretty, but they do have distinct preferences that makes them feel like them.  It is easy to pick up on these and match or amplify them, if you understand the language of clothing.  For me, it wasn't only easy: it was fun and gratifying.

Like it or not, people are EXTREMELY visual.  If you wear something visually appealing: they will notice you.  If you would rather go unnoticed or blend in, this is equally possible with the right wardrobe.  To know how to dress one's self, in our bloodless culture (barring you are part of the military, police, or doing illegal activities, then it's not necessarily so bloodless), clothing can be used to help one advance in any field one chooses, in any way that is most advantageous to them.  It can help announce our identity, our purpose, our profession, our work ethic, our attitude, or any other variety of things you can think of.  You must choose wisely, but it is all possible.

Part of choosing your wardrobe is understanding color theory (which I will cover in another post, if anyone is interested).  I look best in jewel tones and/or pastels, and pure whites and blacks, according to my skin tone, hair color, and eye color.  It makes me look healthier when I wear these tones, which psychologically makes me look more appealing.  I wore these shades from the middle of high school (when I first learned about color theory) until a few months ago, when they no longer fit my lifestyle.

Those of you will laugh that I have now moved to a gray-scale palette for my wardrobe when I do two things: I associate wildly and happily with pagans (some of the most colorfully dressed people I know), and my loud personality (especially when I am around people I like).  I have shifted my focus from colors that make me look appealing, to colors that help me focus (black, being my favorite).  I have all the bright colors within my personality.  I do not require them outwardly as well.  Others find bright colors exciting; at this time, I find them distracting.  So, I have changed my wardrobe.

I have also greatly reduced the number of items in my wardrobe.  I found I was only wearing a "uniform" from my old wardrobe of jewel toned items, anyway.  Why not spend the time I was using to choose clothing in the morning to do something creative?  Like blogging, perhaps?  ;)  Or practicing?  Or writing the many novels in my head?  Now, if fashion is your passion, there is nothing wrong with taking an hour or two to handcraft your daily look before going out into the world.  I love fashion, (otherwise, this post would not be happening), but it's not my priority right now.

In making the remainder of this post useful for those who have gotten this far, how does one begin to craft one's wardrobe?  Good question.  Here are a few questions to ponder:

Question One:  What is the aim of your appearance?

A few things to think about to get you started:  

• Do you want to look like the gender(s) which you are attracted to should rip off your outfit?  
• Are you going to an interview and/or wish to look professional? (This varies wildly based on your profession, but it is a good starting point to know if this is one of your goals.) 
• Are you going to be doing heavy labor of some kind?  
• Are you working in a hazardous situation that requires special clothing (the medical profession, a construction site, a machining shop, etc.)?  
• Are you going to be working with children (especially important if it is other people's children)? 
• What do you consider your attractive qualities?  Do you wish to down play or emphasize them?
• Do you wish to look older, younger or exactly your age?  
• Is your fashion sense a statement, an aside, or completely in the background?
• How much do you want to be noticed?
• What do you want people to notice about you based on how you dress?
• How do you feel about the word "provocative" as a descriptor for someone's fashion sense?

Question Two:  How much time are you willing to spend on your appearance?

Parents with babies out there and people with any sort of chronic illness: yes, I know, the answer is ZERO!  However, looking good and choosing a wardrobe that takes zero time to put together each morning is possible.  It will probably also positively affect your mood, even if you hate clothes.  Feeling good about how you look really does make a giant difference.

If the answer is upwards from zero, you have more flexibility, and it is more beneficial to own a larger wardrobe.

Question Three:  How often do you (and are you willing to) do laundry?

If you are going for a zero effort wardrobe, this question is essential.  Once a week means you need clothing to last a week, so 7-9 items of whatever you wear each day.  If you switch between work clothing and leisure clothing, that means more clothes (about double, depending on your lifestyle).  Once every two weeks: double that.  Twice a week, and you can get by on much less, but you should buy clothes that are highly resilient to extra washing, and wash them as gently as possible.

Question Four:  Are you willing to pay for dry cleaning?

My answer: I'm not.  If I buy a piece of clothing in my wardrobe that says "Dry Clean Only," I will wear it once, say I will dry clean it when I have time, and never wear it again.  That is hugely wasteful, on so many levels.  So, I don't buy clothing that needs to be dry cleaned anymore.

Now, I know people who are so into not doing laundry that they send out all of their items to be washed, pressed, and/or dry cleaned, weekly.  If that is you, awesome.  Buy the beautiful Dry Clean Only items.  I will enjoy looking at them on you, and not doing dry cleaning myself.

Question Five: What is your relationship with ironing?

My answer: I don't.  I buy clothing that comes out of the dryer wrinkle free, or really close.  If you like ironing, again, you have more options.

Question Six: Do you have any allergies or skin sensitivities?

A great wardrobe should feel as comfortable as wearing your own skin.  Nothing should pinch, be too tight, too loose, too short, too long, itch, bunch, rub, drag, or constrict.  If you are allergic to any type of material, avoid it like the plague.  If you aren't the size of a mannequin (which trust me, even some mannequins require pins to look good in the ready-made clothing), find a great tailor, make your own clothes, or use a site, like eShakti.com, that makes clothing to your measurements.  No one should be trying to fit into a particular size.  The clothing should fit you.  If it doesn't, it's not your problem.  It's the wrong clothing for your wardrobe.  Like Beastie Dragon always says: "There is the right tool for every job.  Don't use my nice chisels to open paint cans."  You and your wardrobe deserve as much care and attention as a paint can.  **steps off soapbox**

This should be enough to get you started.  Remember, fashion is for everyone.  A lack of fashion sense is still fashion, and even if you choose not to participate, people can still see you and are assessing what you are wearing.  It's not what we try to do: judge people by their appearance.  It's not what we teach our children, or that we aim to judge people at all.  (What are we... gods?)  However, if it is how most people are, visual, that is, why not use it to your advantage and have a little fun?

If you are interested in future posts to explain how to work these questions to your best advantage or are very interested in the post on color theory, please comment below.