A Serial Novel - Chapter 4: Clem

"Clive Finch is a pig," I thought, walking home for lunch.

I'm truly happy to have such an easy job at the bank.  Seriously.  I am paid extraordinarily well to work two days a week.  It makes it easy to stay straight.  Plus, most people in this town are complete marks like Clive Finch, or nice enough in their own right.

That's when I heard the footsteps.  I was being followed.  Short.  Man, definitely male.  Confident male, but stooped, so old, very old.  Why would an old man be following me home for lunch?

I stopped and turned around abruptly, squared off my posture, and crossed my arms across my chest, just in case.  I had met geriatric assassins before.  They were nothing to trifle with.  50 plus years of killing made one quite efficient at one's job.  It's doesn't take strength to kill, just savvy and an advantage.  An older, more experienced killer only kills when s/he has that advantage.  Even at my comparatively youthful vantage point, I knew exactly how dangerous that much experience could be.

It was Mr. Golden, the florist.  He stopped two yards from me.  I dropped my stance.  He was armed, but not in a way that he was coming to kill me.  "Mr. Oyster," he began, "I am happy to find you are not yet hard of hearing."

I smiled in response.

"I was wondering if I could speak with you about my employee, Caroline.  Perhaps over tea?  Are you taking your lunch break now?" he asked.

"Well, that is exceedingly polite," I thought, "and considering she has been hurt, I like the fact that her boss is looking out for her.  I'll see where this goes."

"Do you like turkey on rye?" I asked.

"Hmm?" Mr. Golden said in response, perhaps not understanding or being hard of hearing himself.

"Turkey on rye.  It's what I'm having for lunch.  I'd be happy to make up another sandwich for you, if you'd like to join me."

"Did you buy the turkey from the butcher, or did you buy it in one of those disgusting little baggies that sits in the water and preservatives until you eat it?" Mr. Golden asked.

I smirked.  Mr. Golden liked good food.  "I roasted the turkey this past weekend, and sliced the breasts up myself for sandwiches this week.  I find it's fresher that way."

"I would be happy to enjoy such a sandwich," Mr. Golden replied, walking towards me.  "I hope your house is not too far from here.  I'm not a young man anymore, Mr. Oyster."

"It's not far," I said.  "I can run ahead and get my car, if it would be more comfortable for you.  I just prefer to walk.  It's a beautiful day."

"I don't mind walking," Mr. Golden said.  "I just worry I will slow a young man like you down."

I smiled at him.  "Everything has been slower since I moved here," I said.  "I think it's healthier."  I began walking at exactly the pace he had been walking behind me.

Mr. Golden noticed immediately, smiled, and remarked, "What brought you to Nowhere, Mr. Oyster?"

"You may call me, Clem, Mr. Golden," I said.  "I wanted a fresh start.  I was in a rough line of work in Chicago.  I was fortunate enough to get out when I did, and I don't want to waste my chances at a quiet, normal life."

Mr. Golden laughed.  "No life is quiet or normal, kid," he said.  "If your life here so far has been either, count your blessings.  It won't last, especially if you are interested in Caroline."

"I am," I responded without hesitation, "but I am not certain she is interested in me.  My intention was to get to know her better over several mornings, probably for at least a month or more, just sitting next to her while she read.  It is very rare to meet an honest girl."

Mr. Golden cocked an eyebrow at me, "Do you have any further intentions?" he asked, almost with a threat under his breath.

"Not at this time," I responded openly.  "If she's not interested, I'm not either.  I like girls who like me, Mr. Golden.  There is no reason chasing a girl who doesn't want to be caught.  I like my life here.  I'm happy by myself.  No reason to change anything for someone who would only be trouble."

"Were you ever married, Clem?" Mr. Golden asked, as I walked up the steps to unlock the front door.

"No," I said.  I hesitated.  I really didn't want to talk about her.  I was honest: we weren't married.  I just wished we had been.  I unlocked the door, and held it open for Mr. Golden to pass through.

"So, you bought my old house," Mr. Golden said, walking into the living room.  "Seems you have kept the place up beautifully.  Do you have a maid service that comes by?"

"No," I said.  "I'm a bachelor.  I have lots of time on my hands.  I'll go start fixing the sandwiches now so we both get back to work by 1."

Mr. Golden followed me into the kitchen, and sat in one of the chairs I had at my breakfast table.  He was silent while I got out the turkey, rye, mustard and mayonnaise for the sandwiches.  I chopped up the turkey into smaller pieces, and assembled the sandwiches quickly.  I felt Mr. Golden watching me.  "Work in a kitchen?" he asked, as I brought him his sandwich.

"No," I said.  "I just like good food.  It's hard to have good food in a small town, if you don't make it yourself."

"I'm happy to see someone is using the kitchen.  Jeannie could work miracles in here, little kitchen that it is.  I sold the house after she died, and moved into an apartment.  Easier to have a smaller place to care for by myself.  I could use any advice you may have for keeping my new place clean though.  You seem to have it down to a science.  After fifty years of someone taking care if you in that way, it's hard to change.  I could use all the help I can get."

"I'd be happy to help," I said earnestly.  "How long has she been gone?"

"Four years.  She died just after my 80th birthday.  There was no pain," Mr. Golden said with a quiet smile.

I stood, realizing I had forgotten the tea.  "I forgot the tea," I muttered.  "Would you prefer hot or iced?"

"What is the house blend?  Is it usually served hot or iced?" Mr. Golden asked with a wry smile.

"I usually have black iced tea with my lunch," I said quietly.  I immediately liked Mr. Golden.  That put me on edge.  I did not want to reveal something that would cause me to have to leave Nowhere, especially when I had the potential of making a new friend.

"Then, that's what I'd like," Mr. Golden said, taking a large bite out of his sandwich, then continued, after swallowing, "Clem, this is really good!"

"I'm glad you enjoy it," I said, returning to the table with the tea.  "It's one of my favorite sandwiches."  I took a swig of iced tea.  I was nervous.  Damn it!  I wasn't ready to have something to lose, again.

"Clem," Mr. Golden said gently.  I looked him straight in the eyes.  He returned my gaze.  "Man to man, are you ready to start dating after whatever you have been through?  I don't need to know what it was, but at my age, it is easy to see when someone else is hurting."

I chuckled, looking away.  "I must have been fooling myself then," I said, with a smirk. "I thought I was hiding it pretty well."

"My concerns only reflect my relationship with Caroline," Mr. Golden continued.  "While your sandwich is delicious, you have treated me with respect, and I could see the two of us getting along quite well, you are not yet a friend of mine, and I am here to make sure it's not just a situation where Caroline will be set up for a fall.  I don't want her hurt, because you're not ready to start dating."

I sighed, and looked out the window.  I could see her in the garden.  She would have loved it here.  Then, my daydream changed, and it was Caroline in the garden.  Maybe I was ready, maybe I wasn't, but in any case, you don't meet an honest girl every day.  "That's why I don't have any intentions, and I'm just going to see her, if she wants to be seen, tomorrow morning, while drinking my espresso," I said, continuing to gaze out the window.

"If your past finds its way here," Mr. Golden said darkly, "will you be able to protect her?"

I quickly turned to face him.  "Yes," I said, looking at him directly without blinking.

Mr. Golden smiled.  "Do you have paper and a pen, young man?" he asked.

"I'll be right back," I said, walking over to my office and picking up a piece of letterhead and a pen.  I walked back to the breakfast table, and handed the pad and pen to Mr. Golden.

Mr. Golden accepted both, and began writing.  "This is my phone number at my shop, and at my home," he said, writing both down in beautiful script.  "Phone at any hour if your past comes to Nowhere."

I looked at Mr. Golden, hard.  I had not told him anything about my past.  He was armed, and he wasn't afraid of me, but he was also 84 years old.  I needed clarification on what type of help he was offering.  "If my past comes for Caroline, or for any reason my past comes to town?" I asked.

Mr. Golden smiled.  Suddenly, he wasn't stooped anymore, and he looked 30 years younger.  "Young man," he said, "how do you think I kept my wife safe for 50 years in my line of work?"  Then, he readjusted his posture to look 84 again.  "Call, for any reason at all," he finished with a big smile.  "Especially if you have left over turkey!"

I gulped.  I was speaking to The Mr. Golden, not A Mr. Golden.  I had heard stories about him for years!  This man was a legend!  There was so much I wanted to talk to him about... in a field I was no longer in... because I had gone straight... Damn it!  I regained my composure and asked, as politely as I could, "Mr. Golden, it is such a pleasure to finally meet you.  You have been an idol of mine, for years.  Since I now know you have no illusions about my former line of work, are you positive you are all right with the prospect of my dating your Caroline?"

"Yes," Mr. Golden responded, finishing his iced tea.  "I'm an old man now, Clem.  I love to reminisce.  If we both didn't have to get back to work, I would happily answer any questions you may have.  However, that will have to wait for another time.  I trust you with Caroline, because I can see that you are genuinely interested in her, and you have loved and lost once before.  I do not think, after that experience, you are a man to take anyone else's heart lightly."

"No, sir, I'm not," I said, looking deep into his eyes.

"Fantastic," responded Mr. Golden, standing up.  "Then, I have good news for you, Clem: Caroline is very interested in you.  I think you should ask her out tomorrow, for dinner perhaps, at Marcie's.  It's not as slow as you intended, but I think you missed her skipping into work today."

"I did, sir.  I was a bit preoccupied with my own thoughts."

"Very well, then," Mr. Golden responded.  "It was a pleasure having lunch with you, Mr. Oyster.  Let me know when you would like to come over for tea, and to talk about cleaning."

"Yes, sir," I said, standing up quickly, and walking ahead of him to get the front door.

Mr. Golden walked out and down the steps, his stoop back, and his former practiced pace.  "And Clem?" he said, just as I was about to close the door.

"Yes?" I asked.

"It can be done," he said with a wink, and walked back to work.

I smiled.  That was the best news I could have asked for.

A screenshot of a Clem custom miniature from HeroForge.com

Goal Setting

Welcome!  This is a post about goal setting.  It is a direct off shoot from my The Motivation Files series, so if you'd like to read those posts, click here for: Part I, Part II, and Part III.  If you are looking specifically for goal setting tips, this is the place to be.

This post assumes that you have cleared out a big enough chunk of time in your schedule to do your favorite thing for as much time as is required to make you happy.  That's really great!  But now what to do with that time?

If you are at the beginning phases of your favorite thing to do, you may want to look into finding a teacher or mentor to help you improve to the point that you are quite skilled at your favorite thing to do.  They will help you with the goal setting process, deadlines, and possibly even contests or events that will help you keep moving forward towards being the best you can be at your favorite thing.

That aside, what if you have studied with teachers for years, possibly have a degree or two focusing on your favorite thing, and are really good at your favorite thing?  How do you keep yourself motivated then?  How do you have direction?  How do you not fall into a slump, and waste the time you worked so hard to create?

Happily, there are a lot of answers to this question.  I will share a few that have worked for me, but please feel free to post your own answers in the comments below!  Hopefully, what I have shared, along with your contributions, will allow this post to help people continue to enjoy, improve, and thrive doing their favorite thing(s).

Step 1:  Start small.

Having a goal of world peace as your first item on your to do list is probably a really bad idea.

Equally bad: cleaning your entire house, learning the Goldberg Variations by tomorrow, fixing everything you don't like about your relationships in your life by next Friday, or moving to Tibet in three days.

Your goal must be realistic and easy to accomplish.  This allows your brain to say: Yeah!  I did good!  Let's do that again!  (Remember, we want to stay motivated?  Right?)  The more you can encourage your brain to have that positive feedback loop, the larger the goals you can set for the future.  So, start small, and encourage yourself with success.

Great Starter Goals (Pick one!):

• Drink a glass of water when you wake up in the morning
• Eat a spoonful of local honey at breakfast to build up a resistance to local allergens
• Drink a glass of decaffeinated tea before you go to bed at night
• Take a 15 minute walk after lunch
• Read for 15 minutes before bed
• Take the stairs instead of the elevator
• Don't hit the snooze button, and wake up at the first alarm
• Meditate 5 days a week, for 3 minutes a day
• Pray before you go to bed
• Take off your shoes when entering your home
• Wash your dishes as soon as you are finished eating

All of these small goals are pretty non-specific, when it comes to one's favorite thing.  Some may apply to you, some you may already be doing, and some you may be absolutely repulsed by.  That's fine.  Choose one, or something similar that is small, and get started.  Try to do your new goal for a month.  See how it goes, and don't chastise yourself if you don't accomplish it the first time, just try again.  Once you accomplish your first goal, it will get you rolling towards much bigger things.  :)

Step 2: Figure out what type of schedule works for you.

I'm going to list options of schedules for a day of work below.  This specifically refers to my day of work, so it includes what I do creatively, and chores.  Each of these schedules caters to a different temperament.  One of them is exactly the one I use.  However, try any of them for yourself, and see which one feels freeing and productive, not constraining.  Once you find it, that is the one you use.

Schedule 1:

9:00 Wake Up
9:10 Make Coffee
9:15 Drink Coffee While Checking E-mail
9:30 Write Blog Post(s)
11:00 Yoga
11:40 Meditate
12:00 Eat Lunch
1:00 Run errands
3:00 Clean Bathrooms
5:00 Eat Dinner
6:00 Practice Piano
9:00 Knit/Read/Relax
12:00 Bedtime

Schedule 2:

To Do (By Priority):
1. Blog Post
2. Practice Piano
3. Meditate
4. Yoga
5. Run Errands
6. Clean Bathrooms

Schedule 3:

To Do (Checklist):

• Blog Post
• Practice Piano
• Meditate
• Yoga
• Run Errands
• Clean Bathrooms

The last schedule is the one that I use.  I like checklists.  They give me the freedom to do the tasks in whatever order I want, whenever I want, and everything still gets done.  Now for some of the tasks (run errands, being the one listed), timing is crucial (i.e. I cannot go to the pharmacy, if it is closed), but most of it is flexible, because I have made the time, and I am setting the rules.

Step 3: Make a longer term schedule, with deadlines.

Now that you know how you work.  Use the daily schedule to make a weekly or monthly schedule.  I find a combination of the two works best in my work, because I know how my weekly work pertains to my monthly (or yearly) goals.  I use the checklist model for this as well, but any organization that works for you is the right one.

Some of my current goals pertain to recitals I am having in the coming months (October and November).  My program has to be memorized.  I need something to wear.  People need to be invited (so I actually have an audience).  Et cetera.  All of these things are on my checklist.  Some of them (booking the hall, making Facebook events for each recital, etc.) are already completed.  Others, I am still working on.  Everything has deadlines, so by the date of the recital, I feel prepared, confident, and ready to go.

Step 4:  Work ahead of schedule.

If at all possible, work ahead of schedule.  If you are prone to procrastination, set your deadline for yesterday.  I am absolutely serious.  Get the work done!  This allows you to have freedom to take a day off when you want to.  It also allows for sick days that you won't try to work through, meaning overall, you will be much, much healthier.

I motivate myself to do this with the long ranging schedule.  Case in point: I wrote this post on September 10.  That gave me time to edit it, sleep on it, make sure it was right, and then post it confidently, today, September 25.  It also means if the circus comes to town, my work is already done: I can go without hesitation.  This type of freedom, for me, is invaluable, and makes everything about life more enjoyable.

Step 5:  Tell people you care about.

We are all human.  We all fall behind sometimes.  It is much easier to stay on track if you have someone you care about, ask you about a goal that was supposed to be done.  For me, that is more than enough to keep me going, or remind me that, wait... I haven't attended to x in a while.  I should get on that! 

If that isn't enough, set up consequences that your friends get to benefit from, if you don't complete your goals.  For example, you pick up the check at your next dinner out together, you wear a Halloween costume of their choosing to their party, or something similar.  Most friends are much more willing to help you make your goals, if they get to have fun doing so.

If you don't currently have awesome people in your life, bribe yourself.  I've done it.  It works beautifully.  When I was still teaching 50 students, I had the hobby of lifting weights.  I loved it, but it was easy for me to fall off track, due to how tired I was from teaching.  My bribe was: if I kept my exercising schedule for a month (which generally worked out to 12 training sessions), I treated myself to sushi.  Sushi is one of my favorite things to eat, and it did not go against my diet for my lifting goals at all.  A bribe like that is what you want to look for: a treat that will not harm your training if you don't make it to your goal, but also will not harm your training if you do.

Step 6:  Allow the schedule to have some flexibility.

For some people, this is terrifying.  If they don't follow their schedule exactly, it actually causes more stress and anxiety.  For those people, I highly recommend that you schedule in fun/relaxation.  It will help with your health, and you may actually be able to relax while participating and have a good time.

For others, working ahead gives you the freedom to throw your schedule out the window.  I am in this camp.  I love being able to do this.  The only caution is: don't do it every day.  Discipline in your favorite thing is what makes it great.  If you completely throw that to the wind, it is unlikely you will get anything done, and other things will creep back in and steal the time you made for it.  Anywhere from once a week to once a month should work for just about everybody (depending on your goals, of course).

So, as I said earlier in this post: please, please, please add anything in the comments below that helps you with goal setting!  My list is far from extensive, and there are tons of ways that this can be done.  Share and pay it forward!

Have a great week everyone!  :)

A Serial Novel - Chapter 3: Clive Finch

Clem was not himself.

Only I would notice such a thing.  I see Clem five days a week.  I'm his boss, Clive Finch, branch supervisor of Nowhere Bank.  Nice meeting you.  Do you have an account with Nowhere Bank?  We're currently offering a ... Sorry, sometimes I bring my work into more situations than necessary.  My girlfriend has yelled at me for celebrating the past quarter in the bedroom.  Personal weakness, but I love my job.  I have always enjoyed working with figures, so when my grandfather retired and asked me to take over the business, I jumped at the chance.

I hired Clem about a month ago.  He had a rough track record, but he told me exactly what he was coming to Nowhere for: a fresh start.  He proved himself by showing me 14 different ways that I could help my business be more productive.  I ignored all of them, but hired him on the spot.  Such innovation could be useful if something were to go wrong.

Clem was on time, every morning, and wearing a suit that was far too formal for this town.  It brought in more ladies to open accounts, so I didn't actually mind, but I did tease him about it on a fairly regular basis.  The best part is, other than when he asked me for the job, he barely says more than a word or two, all day long.  It's great!  I have peace and quiet to daydream, unless we have customers, and on Tuesday, that generally meant tons of peace and quiet.

Except today.  Today, it was not quiet, which is why I knew, Clem was not himself.

Clem was whistling.

It let it go for about an hour.  He whistled in tune, and in a way it was a nice change to the typical quiet.  However, after the fifth repeat of "Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head," I cleared my throat.

Clem stopped immediately.  "Yes?" he asked.

"Clem, why are you whistling?" I asked.

"I hadn't realized I was.  I can stop if it was bothering you," Clem responded.

"It wasn't bothering me at all.  You whistle quite well.  I was wondering why you were whistling.  You are usually silent."

"It's been a good day," Clem said.

"Anything happen of note?" I asked, hoping he might just give me a straight answer.

"I met an honest girl," Clem said.

"In town?" I scoffed, with a laugh.  "What's her name?  I've dated most of them, and none of them have been honest.  Most, in addition to dating me, have husbands at home.  Meaning: not honest."

"Oh, she doesn't have a husband," Clem responded, smiling.

"You like this girl!  Cool as a cucumber Clem likes someone!  This is hilarious!  Seriously, man, what's her name?  I am going to laugh hysterically at the look on your face when I tell you her husband's name."

"Caroline," Clem said, looking me straight in the eyes.  I stopped.  That look was the one thing Clem did from his past that always stopped me dead in my tracks.  There was still something dangerous lurking inside that beautiful suit of his.

"Caroline, who works at The Golden Florist?" I asked.

"Yes," Clem said.  "Is there something wrong with her?"

"No, nothing.  She turned me down flat.  She's not married," I said, a bit sheepishly.

Clem chuckled under his breath, then fell silent again.

"What are you laughing for?" I asked, slightly offended.

"It means I'm right, Clive.  It means she's honest.  Do you have any idea how long it has been since I met an honest girl?"

I stopped.  "So she turned you down too?" I asked.

"Of course, she did," Clem answered.  "She has taste.  I happen to like that in a woman."

"So what are you going to do?  You obviously like her.  Otherwise, you wouldn't be whistling.  Are you going to ask her out again?"

"No," Clem said, resolutely, "I'm going to see her tomorrow morning, just like she said."

I laughed.  "Letting a girl call the shots, huh?  What are you, a pussy?"

"No," Clem said, with a smile that was scarier than his glare.  "I'm a man who wants a woman who is happy.  Happy women are a joy to be around.  Generally, if you listen when a woman talks, then try to give her what she asks for, she is more likely to be happy.  If she asks for more than I want to give, I just say no, and I'm equally honest with her.  It keeps things simple."

I opened my mouth to respond, then closed it.  I had no smart retort to respond to that.  I decided then and there: I had hired a reincarnation of James Bond.  Clem knew women.  I immediately began thinking about how many women Clem could have, at one time.  Of course, in my thinking this, I was playing the role of Clem.  It was a happy thought.

"I'm going to take lunch," Clem said, putting his jacket back on and buttoning the top button.

I looked down at the clock on my desk.  It was noon.  Wow, time had flown by.  "You go ahead.  I'll see you around 1."

Clem nodded, and took off out the front door to walk home.  Clem generally went home for lunch, because it was so close.  Plus, he said the walking was good for him with a desk job.  I watched him walk around the corner.  Then, I watched Mr. Golden put a closed sign on the door of his shop and also walked around the corner.  I laughed.

Gossip travels fast in a small town.  Clem was in for a not so simple time.

A screenshot of a Clive Finch custom miniature from HeroForge.com

The Motivation Files, Part III

If you are just joining us now, below are links to the first and second parts of this series.  Enjoy!
The Motivation Files, Part I
The Motivation Files, Part II

For those of you who have kept up with my weekly posts so far, and completed the 8 steps, great job!  You are working towards using your time to do what you love!  What an exciting time!

For those of you just starting to read my blog posts, here are links to the first and second parts of The Motivation Files.  Try to take a week to complete each one.  In my experience, you will need the time to think deeply to give yourself the best tools to motivate yourself.  Some of you will have been looking for something like this for a while, and will successfully complete all the steps in one sitting.  Great!  Others will take far more time than a week to complete each step, let alone the steps outlined in each post.  Great!  Some of you will read all three posts, and complete part of it as your new year's resolutions for the next five years.  Great!  Or anything in between... Great!  And thank you for reading...

As always, if you have any questions on any of the steps, or you would like a blog post devoted to something specific that did not make sense, please, please, please comment below!  I'd love to hear feedback about anything and everything related to these posts.  Paying it forward doesn't help if you aren't listening to what people want or are speaking in a manner they don't understand.  So, help me help you!  Speak up!

As I mentioned last week, this week's post is about letting go and being ready to make the positive changes happen.  Ready?  Here we go!

This is the post about actually making changes in your life.  In the last two weeks, you have obtained the knowledge about what is required to have more time doing your favorite thing(s).  Today, I'm going to talk about how to make the changes to make it happen.

Depending on your own personal beliefs on change, this could be exciting, intimidating, terrifying, anxiety-ridden, or any other adjective you associate with change.  Change can be extremely hard for many people.  Like all of our negative reinforcement to do things in our culture, we associate change with bad.  This time, the change can't be bad: you chose it.  It is change to make your life into the life you want.  If it doesn't work, go back to weeks one and two, reassess, and try again.  There is no failure here, just trial, trial, trial, ad infinitum and then finally, success.  Woohoo!  Yeah!  Go team!

However, if you are not ready to make the changes, don't.

And now you're thinking: What the hell, Crimson?  You have been so positive up until this point.  What do you mean don't make the changes if you're not ready?  I want to improve my life!  I'm just also having a major panic attack over change.  But I'm so ready!

Exactly.  If you are having a panic attack right now, you're not ready.  Close this window, and go take care of yourself, please.  If the idea of changing anything in your life fills you with dread, it's simple: you're not ready.  And I am the first to tell you: that's okay.  It's not procrastination.  It's not laziness.  It's not that you're a wimp, and those ready to make the change today are stronger and better than you.  That's all just bullshit we tell ourselves to hold us back even further, and become paralyzed.

It's far more simple: you're not ready, and that's okay.

You might ready be tomorrow.

You might ready be next week.

You might ready be next month.

You might ready be next year.

And whenever you're ready, that's great!  It is, at that time, the right time, to change your life, for the better!  Woohoo!  Yeah!  Go Team!

I don't know what you are going through right now.  I'm not in your head.  I'm not in your body.  I haven't been through what you have gone through to shape you into who you are.  I don't know.  There are always reasons why we're not ready to change, and they are always valid.  Life doesn't come with a manual.  We learn as we go.  Sometimes life is really hard, and we need to heal before we can move and change.

And that's okay.  I repeat myself, that's okay.  Take the time to heal.  You will be a healthier, happier, stronger, more defined you for it.

How will you know when you are ready to make the change?  A few observations from my own experience:

1. You've already let go of what is unimportant and doesn't matter in you mind, so letting it go in real life is a breath of fresh air, and freeing, not scary.

2.  You're not scared, anxious, worried, having doubts, anymore.

3.  You already talk in past tense about things you haven't yet let go, but really want to.

4.  You talk in present tense about things you want to do.

5.  You excitedly tell family and friends where you're headed.

6.  You start making goals for what you want to do while doing your favorite thing.

7.  You wake up in the morning, with more energy than you used to have.  (I realize there is a spectrum on this, and some people will never be morning people, or morning will be after noon.  However, you have more energy.  Period.)

The best part of letting go of the things in your life that don't fit when you're ready: It's easy.  It's freeing.  It feels great.

Now, you're asking me:  What if some of the things I want to let go are complicated?  What if I own a company and I don't want to anymore?  What if I no longer want to spend all of my time raising my children (or something equally huge, responsibility wise)?  What if I don't know where to start?

First, when you're ready, everything will fall into place for whatever you want to let go to drop away.

Second, if what you want to let go is a huge responsibility, make sure it falls into the hands of someone who is capable, qualified, and that is their favorite thing to do.  Then, you will feel happier about it, and it will no longer be your responsibility.  Win win.  There is always someone who will have the dream of doing what you really don't want to do.

Case in point: I don't want to teach children piano lessons anymore, but there are thousands, if not more, highly qualified piano teachers out there who love what they do, and that is their favorite thing to do.  When I quit teaching at the school I was working for, I made certain the school had time to locate one of these fine people to fill my absence.  You can do the same.  It just needs to be the right time.

Third, if you are consciously, positively thinking about the opportunity you most desire, frequently, even though you have no idea how to get there, it will come to you.  The people, situation and/or opportunity will appear in your life, when you are ready to accept it.  Don't believe me?  I didn't believe such things a few years ago, but here I am with a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and I am currently "at work" working on my blog in the comfort of my living room.  I also have people in my life who love me for who I am, something I never thought would be possible.  What did I do to achieve this?  I thought about my dreams every day.  I looked for direction in the slightest of signs.  I prayed.  And suddenly, the situation appears where you have the ability to start to let go, as impossible as it may seem before the situation actually occurs.

So, have a little faith in yourself.  Have faith in your ability to make your dreams come true.  You don't need much at first; just enough to keep working towards your dreams a little bit every day.  It doesn't have to be in a benevolent universe, an omnipotent God, or anything supernatural, but it can be, if that helps.  Believe in you.  The rest will follow.

The steps for this week, for those who are ready:

Step 1:  Make a list of the things you wish to let go.

Step 2:  Decide that you are indeed ready to let go each of the items on the list.  

If you're not, cross off the item, and reassess in three months to a year.

Step 3:  Make a schedule and flexible plan of attack for how you are going to responsibly and happily let each item go.

Step 4:  Follow your plan.  

Make adjustments as needed.  Tell your family and friends what you intend to do so they can help keep you motivated, in addition to the self-motivation you have built by knowing what your favorite thing is, and why you are doing this.

Step 5: Congratulate yourself.  

You are one step closer to having the life you want, doing your favorite things.

This concludes The Motivation Files.  Next week's post will be about Goal Setting, and remaining motivated once you have cut out the time to do your favorite thing(s).

See you next week!

A Serial Novel - Chapter 2: Mr. Golden

It was a typical Tuesday.  I had enough orders to keep me busy for birthdays and anniversaries that getting into my shop a few minutes early made sense.  No reason for me to stay home anyway, with the wife gone and all.  I was busy finishing up the bouquet for Mr. Finch's latest squeeze, when I looked up at the clock.  It was five past nine.

Caroline was late.

Caroline was never late.

I finished tying the bow on the bouquet and put it in a pail of water.  I went to the front door of my shop, and there was Caroline, skipping up the road with a giant grin on her face.  No book in front of her nose.  No timid steps.  She was skipping.

I quickly walked back to my desk, and busied myself with the next bouquet on my list of things to do: an apology bouquet from Mr. Dorian to Mrs. Dorian, apparently, for being an ass, and quite a large one.  A dozen roses, mixed in with the most expensive flowers in my shop suggested such.

Caroline burst in the door, jangling the bell wildly.  "Mr. Golden!" she exclaimed.  "I think there's a boy who likes me!"

I blinked twice at her.  This was not typical Caroline behavior.  I hired Caroline because she was a quiet little thing, and had extreme attention to detail.  Not to mention, whenever she was working, sales from any of the men in Nowhere skyrocketed.  Something about having a pretty little thing straightening flowers meant men bought flowers.  After I regained my composure from her outburst, I asked, "Is he a good boy?"

Caroline thought for a moment.  "I don't know," she said, "but he listened to me when I said I wanted to finish my book, instead of talk to him.  That means something, right?"

I thought for a moment.  Caroline, with her bright eyes and youth, was pretty naive in the ways of the world, and extremely naive in the ways of men.  She hadn't ever talked about a boy, and she had worked for me for over four years now.  I didn't want to crush her hopes, as she had not had as many suitors as would befit a pretty girl like her.  However, I also did not want her being taken advantage of.  "It means he might be a good listener," I responded, cautiously.

"Well, I told him I would see him tomorrow morning at the coffee shop, because, well, he's there every morning.  He's the one who drinks all the espressos and hardly says a word to Marcie.  The fact that he even said a few sentences to me was impressive.  His name is Clem.  Do you know him?  Has he ever bought flowers here?"

I thought for a moment, and slowly opened my record book.  I'm 84 years old, far too old to be learning new-fangled technology in a little town like this.  I have this copy of my records, a copy in my office, and a copy at home, just in case.  I looked back two months: no record of a Clem.  "How long has he lived here, Caroline?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," Caroline responded, honest as always.  "He started coming to the coffee shop every morning about 3 months ago.  Never spoke to anyone but Marcie until this morning.  I'm also positive he was late for work, later than me anyway.  Sorry about that, Mr. Golden.  You can dock me if you'd like..."

"It's no problem, Caroline," I said with a little smile.  "It is good to see you so excited about something.  I just hope it will not compromise your work today..."

"It won't.  I promise," Caroline responded, sounding much more like herself.

"Good," I said.  "Now, please begin the morning tidying up.  Even though we're just a small town florist, we need to look respectable: cleanliness is godliness."

Caroline smiled back at me.  "Of course, Mr. Golden."  She turned away to go to the closet to find a broom and dust pan.

"I'll just make a few phone calls, dear," I said, turning to my address book,  "It's rather important for me to know if this Clem is a good boy."

Caroline smiled at me.  "Thanks, Mr. Golden," she said.  "It's nice to know that someone is looking out for me."

"By the way, Caroline," I asked, before picking up the phone to call the coffee shop, "how is your uncle?"

"Oh, he's doing swell," Caroline said, a dark look crossing her face.  "I think his daisies will be prize-winning this year."

"Fantastic," I responded, ignoring her expression.  "Well, please tell him that if he could send you with some for the shop, it would be most appreciated."

"Of course," Caroline responded.  "I'd be happy to."

After a few rings, Marcie picked up the phone.  "Hello, Marcie," I said into the receiver, "this is Frances.  Caroline came in here this morning happy as a lark.  She was skipping in fact.  She tells me she met a boy at the coffee house this morning.  He sat next to her while she was reading her book.  His name is... Clark?"

"Clem," Marcie corrected me.  "His name is Clem.  Frances, I was bad this morning.  I was playing matchmaker again.  Your pretty little Caroline and Clem would make such a cute couple."

"What do you know about Clem?" I asked, trying not to sound stern.

"He's a banker.  Clive Finch hired him about a month ago.  He came in that afternoon for an espresso to celebrate.  Told me he was moving into town, and asked if there were any nice houses he could buy.  Not rent, Frances, buy.  I think he's loaded.  The banking job could just be a front.  I know he's single.  He doesn't wear a wedding ring, and in this town, a girlfriend, mistress or wife would be obvious.  I mean, he could be divorced, or a widower, but I doubt it somehow.  He seems like a man who could use a woman in his life, not one who ever had one."

"Do you think he would treat Caroline well?  I mean, her uncle has been sick for months.  No one has seen him around town.  She's probably horribly lonely, and could use a friend, but if he's a banker, and works for Clive Finch... I'm not sure he'd be a good influence on Caroline."

"Have you met Clem?" Marcie asked me.

"No," I said surprised by her question, "and he has never purchased flowers here.  I just finished checking."

"Further proof he's single," Marcie said.  "You know Caroline better than anyone.  Wouldn't it be nice to see her happy for a change?  If it doesn't last, this is a small town.  He'll leave rather than deal with our gossip!"

I thought about that for a second.  It was true.  Moving into a small town, by choice, and choosing to date someone in the town was risky in and of itself.  My wife had been from a few towns over, just for that very reason.  However, Caroline was happy, and I had no doubt that Marcie was right about the gossip.  "All right," I said, "I'll let Caroline know what she hasn't already overheard from our call.  Apparently, she was extremely impressed by Clem, because he let her finish her book."

"I hope Clem understood that," Marcie said.  "He told me she had said, 'No.'"

"I'll make sure to relate that to Caroline," I said.  "If she's truly interested in Clem, she may have to work on being more direct in her methods of communication."

Marcie laughed.  "Good luck with that, Frances!  The girl has said two words to me since she started coming in here alone.  How's her uncle doing?  Any better?"

"Gardening, apparently," I said, smiling at the thought of the daisies I would get soon.  "Hopefully, we'll see him around town soon.  Well, Marcie, I need to let you go before I forget all the things I need to tell Caroline.  Have a good day," I finished, hanging up the phone.

"Well," Caroline asked, pausing in her sweeping, "is he a good boy?"

"No," I said, resolutely, "but if you like him, you may find out he's a good man."

Caroline dropped the broom, jumped up and down twice and clapped her hands.  Then, she looked down, and saw she had spilled the dust from the dustpan all over the floor.  "Sorry!" she exclaimed, and began to clean it up.

I smiled, and returned to work on Mr. Dorian's apology bouquet.

A screenshot of a Mr. Golden custom miniature from HeroForge.com

The Motivation Files, Part II

(If you haven't read The Motivation Files, Part I, click here.)

After reading last week's post, The Motivation Files, Part I, you may be asking yourself: Crimson, how do you know about motivating people?  Do you have a degree in life coaching?  The answer: I have a degree in piano performance which led me to have tons of practical experience.

When I was working in Michigan, I had a studio of over 50 piano students.  Yes, you read that right, five-zero.  While more than mildly insane, I learned a lot, in short order, about how to motivate people to attain their goals.  I not only worked with the students themselves, but their parents, because most 5-7 year olds do not have the ability to use abstract thinking, i.e. they cannot see a larger reason to do something other than their immediate wants and desires.  This is where their parents came in: to help their child(ren) achieve their first goal, so they could see, in concrete means, why practicing and working towards goals have value.

Big thoughts for the little guys, I know.  By having great success with the majority of my students on this, I not only had an amazing studio recital, but my students' focus, concentration, work ethic, motivation, and overall behavior improved in school and at home as well.  It was more common for the parent to start nodding and groaning when I spoke to the parent about a behavioral concern, and say something to the extent of: I just spoke with Student A's teacher about the same thing on Friday, than look at me like I'm talking about someone else's kid.  It was equally common when we worked and improved on any of these concerns in lessons, the next parent-teacher conference would have glowing reviews.

To be able to do this, I not only had to be able to motivate the students, but motivate their parents to help with practicing and following through on assignments.  This is not easy when we live in a culture where everything is based on negative reinforcement: bad grades (and in many cases, inflated, meaningless good grades), fines, punishment, loss of privileges, etc.  To switch gears to positive reinforcement of goals, especially in our own heads, can be mind-boggling, and feel impossible at first.  However, in my own experience and in working with others, it is one of the most positive things you can do to improve your life, and the lives of the people you hold most dear.

So, you completed the steps from last week, and you're looking for the next steps this week?  Great!  Here we go...

Step 1:  Write down the reasoning chains you thought about most in the last week.

WARNING: This may be painful.  Seriously.  Don't do this on a day when you are already low energy, your boss yelled at you, or you just want to shoot something.  You may find that nothing in your life is helping you achieve more time to do your favorite thing, that instead, you are focused on doing everything BUT your favorite thing.  From personal experience, I give you my most empathetic: OUCH!

The positive: knowledge is power.  Once you know that you are making the choices about how you spend your time, you can change it into the life you imagine, with way more time to do your favorite thing.  Sometimes, making these changes will happen slowly, to tie up loose ends, or incredibly quickly, because you have known but not acted on a change you've wanted to make and known about for a while.  It all depends on where you are now, and how aware and mindful you have been up until this point.

Once more for emphasis: this. might. hurt.  There, you have been warned.  However, today, you don't have to act on anything.  You're just obtaining information.  Let it sink in.  Breathe.  I'll talk more about acting on what you find next week.

Step 2: Prioritize the things you do in a week based on how important they are to you.

Easy peasy: write numbers (1-x) along your list based on your personal value of each item.

Step 3: Prioritize the things you do in a week based on how they help you achieve more time doing your favorite thing.

Write letters (A-Z) along your list based on how helpful they are in allowing you to have more time to do your favorite thing.

Step 4: Look at your numbers and letters.

Do they line up?  Are there items in your list that are both a 1 AND an A?  These items are probably a big deal, and you should try to prioritize them to have the most time.

Are there items that are a 1 and a Z?  Or a 10 and an A?  Items labeled 1 and Z are items that you may enjoy and are important to you, that don't at all help you have time to do your favorite thing.   Items labeled 10 and A are items that you hate doing that will definitely help you have time doing your favorite thing.

If the former and there are a lot of instances of this in your list, decide if you have a secondary favorite thing, and if you do, make a new list to support time to do that favorite thing as well.

If the latter, decide how important that thing you hate doing is to further doing your favorite thing.  Ask yourself: Is it important because someone else or I believe it is?  Can I pay someone else to do this to still obtain the benefit, but not have to spend time doing it?  Is it actually that important if I hate it that much?

Do you have two (or more) distinct 1 and A items?

This is probably the most exciting part about your list: you may have two favorite things (or more)!  That is totally cool.  It means your focus won't be quite as one-pointed as someone with one favorite thing, but it will still improve your life quickly by prioritizing your time to spend on your favorite things.

If you have two (or more) favorite things, decide how much time, ideally, you would spend on each one.  Do you want to do each one every day?  Once a week?  Once a month?  Once a year?  What will give you the motivation to keep going every day on all the other things you do in life?

Step 5: The big question of the week: Would making money doing your favorite thing make you happy?

This is indeed the big question.  There are two broad schools of thought on this: 1. If your work is something you love, you never work a day in your life.  2. Find a lucrative career you like, that pays for the hobbies you love.  Either of these can be right for you.  It all just depends on if you enjoy the careers offered in the fields you love, and if the job associated with your favorite thing, is actually your favorite thing to do.

In my case, I tried option one, and it didn't work for me.  Teaching is not the same thing as practicing, nor does it have the elements I love about practicing.  Teaching is working one on one with people to help them improve.  Practicing is working alone to improve yourself.  While I am a good teacher, and was very attached to many of my students, I would come home every day from work completely depleted.  I did not have the energy to do my favorite thing after work.  I had the energy to eat a microwave dinner, curl up in a ball on my bed and watch Netflix.  I wasn't writing.  I wasn't practicing (well).  I wasn't creating or improving on myself.  I was existing-ish.

I don't wish that sort of life on anyone, yet I know many of you reading this have been there, or are there right now.  If you are there right now, hang in there.  Try to find your way back to your favorite thing to do.  It will change.  Life always does.  It's one of those constant things that we can't escape, and in this case, it is almost always positive.

So, lots of things to think about this week... My post next week will be the third and last post of The Motivation Files and will be about letting go and being ready to make the positive changes happen.

See you next week!

As always, if you have any questions on any of the steps, or you would like a blog post devoted to something specific that did not make sense, please, please, please comment below!  I'd love to hear feedback about anything and everything related to these posts.  Paying it forward doesn't help if you aren't listening to what people want or are speaking in a manner they don't understand.  So, help me help you!  Speak up!

A Serial Novel - Chapter 1: Clem

Chapter 1: Clem

Hi.  I'm Clem, Clem Francis Oyster.  Yes, that makes my initials C.F.O.  You could say my parents had high hopes for me.

They're dead.

I'm currently working as a banker, which fits in an ironic way.  I'm not the Chief Financial Officer of the bank, but it's straight work that I'm good at.  Boring as hell, but I can deal.  This position is better for my health, if you know what I mean.

In my former line of work, my life expectancy was always: yesterday.  It made life more interesting, because it could end at any moment, but when it became routine, I knew I had to get out.  Fast.  So, I did the impossible, and I got out.  And yes, I'd have to kill you if I told you how I did it, and that would really ruin my chances of staying straight, so knock it off, will ya?

As I was saying, I'm now working as a banker in a small town in Illinois, just far enough from Chicago that I won't run into my old colleagues unless they come looking for trouble.

Which small town?  Nosy, aren't we?  That's how you get your nose cut off, putting it in places it doesn't belong.  It's small, and nothing happens here.  Now, go play Google Maps roulette and do the work if you actually want to find me, wise guy.

For convenience, let's just say I live in Nowhere, Illinois.  It's a one stop light town with a bank, a post office, a pharmacy, a florist, and a coffee shop.  That's it.  You can see the whole thing in two minutes, or driving through, if the light is green, miss the whole thing.  That's why it's perfect for me.  It's quiet, and no one comes here, unless they have family here, or they themselves lived here at one time.  If my old colleagues came to find me, it would have to be intentional.  There was nothing, absolutely nothing, to draw them here for any other reason.

Or so I thought...

I live in a bungalow, two blocks from Main Street.  It's a little gray house with five rooms: a kitchen, a bathroom, a living room, an office, and a bedroom upstairs.  It also has a basement.  It's perfect for a bachelor like me, and like everything in my life now, I keep it completely clean.  With five rooms, it's pretty easy to do, which suits me just fine.

The bank is on Main Street, and previously living in Chicago, it made no sense to me not to walk to work.  Every morning, after waking up, and eating some breakfast, I walk over to the coffee shop to order three espressos, before walking over to the bank across the street.  There was no reason for this morning to be any different.  It was a typical Tuesday.

Nothing happens for a banker on Tuesday in a small town.  Frankly, if I were running things, we'd be open Thursday (for those who get their pay checks early), Friday (for almost everybody), and Saturday (for those who worked late, or forgot to get to the bank after work on Friday).  That's it.  For the other days, I'd have an ATM.  Easy.  But that's not how it works in Nowhere, so I happily smiled and accepted my 40 hour a week position.  I figured it was good for my recovery, and keeping my trap shut was a well learned skill I had no intention of forgetting.

Well, it was supposed to be a typical Tuesday, but it wasn't.  I walked into the coffee shop and said, "Hi," to Marcie, the owner, sitting myself at the bar.

"Good mornin', Clem," Marcie said with her sly smile.  "Will it be the usual?"

"Yes, ma'am," I responded, taking my phone from my jacket pocket, and looking for any interesting stories in the news.

"I don't know how you stomach this on an empty stomach, Clem," Marcie said,

"I don't," I said, looking up from my phone with a small smile.

"An early riser, huh?" Marcie continued, watching the espressos shoot out of the machine into three shot glasses.  "I don't know how a catch like you, moved into a small town like this, and is single.  Clem, do you just not get out much?"

"Not really," I responded honestly.

"I see," Marcie said.  "Well, you should change that.  You're a banker now.  Bringing in good money like that, you could have any girl in this town that you wanted.  Take Caroline over there.  She works at the flower shop around the corner.  Prettiest little thing.  I have no idea why she's single either.  But God works in mysterious ways..."

I looked over at the girl sitting in the corner of the coffee shop, reading a book.  She looked like sunshine.  No, she was sunshine.  All sunshine, and rainbows, and probably glitter.  About 5' 10", blue eyes, freckles, and strawberry blond hair.  She wore a dress that matched the color of her eyes, and would never be seen anywhere in Chicago.  She was sunshine for my cloudy day, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"Clem," Marcie said, standing at the counter with my espressos.  "Clem," she tried again when I didn't answer or turn towards her.  "Clem!" she said slightly sharply, which caused me to turn, my elbow knocking one of the shot glasses filled with espresso on the floor.

"Aw... I'm so sorry, Marcie," I cursed.  "Can I buy another one?  Where's your rag?  I'll help clean this up."

Marcie laughed.  "If you ask that nice girl out, all four espressos are on the house," she said, smirking.

I looked at Marcie wide eyed for a moment, and decided she was serious.  I nodded, stood, took a deep breath and walked over to Caroline.  "Hi," I said.  "Would you like company with your cappuccino?"

Caroline looked up from her book.  I could tell she was looking over me carefully.  This girl had been hurt, badly.  I suddenly started thinking of what I would want to do to someone who had hurt a girl like this, and then realized I had gone straight, and if I did those things, I would never be able to spend time with her.  A girl like her didn't have a boyfriend in prison, or my former line of work.  A girl like her...

"No," Caroline said.  "Thank you for asking, but I'm really enjoying my book.  I only have 15 more pages, and I'd really like to finish it before my shift starts at the flower shop."  She then looked back down at her book, and it was as if I hadn't said a word.

But she had given me a gift: she was honest.  Completely honest, in fact.  A quality I rarely found, in anyone.  I knew immediately I had to get to know this girl better.  "I don't expect you to talk," I tried again.  "Is this chair free?"

"Sure," she said, this time not looking up.  I sat in the chair across from her, pulled my phone back out, and finished reading the news story on increased crime in Chicago. Marcie brought me my espressos and mouthed, "Well?"  I shook my head, she mouthed, "Sorry," and returned to the counter.

Twenty minutes later, Caroline looked up from her book.  "Well, that was disappointing," she said, and began readying to leave.

"I'm sorry?" I asked.

"The ending," Caroline explained.  "Totally not worth it.  It was just another happy ending that is totally unrealistic, to tell you the truth.  People are happy, but nothing is perfect.  Perfect really doesn't exist, even in nature.  Beauty exists.  Harmony exists, in singular moments.  But perfect?  That's for the birds!  What's your name anyway?"

"I'm Clem," I said.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Clem," Caroline said, placing money on the table to pay Marcie.  "I have to get to work."

I smiled.  Yes, I would definitely see her tomorrow.  Suddenly, there was something happening in Nowhere.

Chapter 2: Mr. Golden

The Motivation Files, Part I

When I tell people I'm a pianist, the most common answer I get is: I used to take piano lessons when I was x years old, but (insert reason here), so I quit.  I really wish I didn't.  It's amazing you have stuck with it for so long.

I have always found this response to be incredibly sad.  Playing the piano is my favorite thing to do (writing being a close second), and the fact that so many people lost out on a chance to enjoy how wonderful it can be to sit down and play is really awful.  The worst part is, the skill that they weren't being taught in their lessons, (or it was presented in a way that didn't make sense or seemed like torture, depending on the case), is a skill everyone can use, no matter what field you are working in.  That essential skill is: motivation.  If you have motivation, there is no reason to quit.  You are obtaining value from your experience, and therefore, you continue to participate in that experience.  Easy.

However, when we look at our lives, there are plenty of things we HAVE to do, that we don't necessarily want to do, at all.  Case in point: filing your income taxes.  It is something (unless you have taken orders in some form of religious organization, and have no lay employees) that we all have to do.  It's not fun for most of us, and we do it to avoid negative consequences, the largest being: jail time.

I propose that one can have the motivation to complete things we don't want to do for positive reasons, and therefore, not mind them so much.  All it takes is a little thinking/planning, and reminders in a form that work for you.  Ready to get started?

Step 1:  What is your favorite thing to do?

This question should have a slightly different answer for everyone.  You should narrow down the answer to the most basic part of your favorite thing to do.  This is what will be your motivation for everything else that has to get done in your life, mostly, so you can get back to doing what you love (or make enough money to pay someone else to do it).

My favorite thing to do is playing the piano.  However, while I enjoy performing, am really good at teaching, get a charge out of lecturing, geek out over music theory, love reading about composers and musicians, and utterly fascinated by piano technology, practicing is my favorite thing to do.  So, my motivation, for most things, is having more time to practice.

Figure out your answer and be equally specific.  Remember: there is no right or wrong answer here!  It's only the wrong answer, if it's not actually your favorite thing to do, but what is the "Politically Correct" or "Advantageous" favorite thing to do.  This needs to be your ACTUAL favorite thing to do.  There is absolutely no reason anyone needs to know what it is, except you.  However, it would be incredibly advantageous for you to know what your motivation is: it's about to make your life easier.

Step 2:  How does your favorite thing to do make you feel?  Why is it your favorite thing to do?

Make a list of all the reasons why your favorite thing to do is your favorite thing to do.  This could be a list of adjectives as your background on your computer or tablet, pictures on Pinterest, post-it notes on your pin board over your desk, or magnets on your refrigerator.  Keep this list on hand where you will see it several times a day, for at least 2 months.  Look at it regularly, especially when things get hard, or you have to do something you don't necessarily want to do.  Enjoy having a purpose.

Step 3:  Start observing a chain of reasoning that everything in your life leads back to you having more time to do your favorite thing.

Time is a limited resource.  It is the most priceless limited resource, as we have no idea how much we actually have.  To be good at time management means you have an advantage over everyone around you who isn't.  The best part about time management is: anyone can improve, even those who are really good at it.

To be good at time management, you need to decide how to prioritize your time.  Your favorite thing to do should be priority one, most of the time.  If it's not, you aren't making the most out of your time.  Now, in certain portions of your life, or if you are just starting to change your priorities, your life can be filled with things you don't want to do: bills, arguments with your boss, a job you hate, taxi-ing your kids from one place to another, etc.  While it may take time to change your priorities, and you will probably never do your favorite thing 24/7 (in my case, a pianist can only practice at full intellectual capacity for 4 hours, at a time), you can make certain you get to do your favorite thing every day.

Person A is a great example of this.  Person A's favorite thing to do is running.  S/he owns his/her own business and works 14-16 hours a day.  S/he loves owning his/her own business, and would not work for someone else to have more time to run.  However, it is running that is his/her favorite thing to do.  So, how does s/he make certain s/he can run every day?  S/he wakes up at 4 a.m.  S/he enjoys the peace and quiet of the early morning hours.  On days s/he remembers to do this, s/he generally has a better and more productive day at work, because in the morning, s/he fed his/her motivation.  Is this a compromise?  Yes, but it is one s/he is happy with, and works based on his/her reasoning of how much time his/her passion requires to make him/her happy: an hour or two before work each day, more on the weekends.

Once you start thinking this way, you will start to see a hierarchy of what you really love to do, what works as a secondary means to feed your passion, what you don't mind in your life to "pay" for your favorite thing to do, what is essential, but you'd really like to spend less time on, and what doesn't fit at all.  That's great!  Make a list (however works best for you), and think on that until next week's post!

See you then!

As always, if you have any questions on any of the steps, or you would like a blog post devoted to something specific that did not make sense, please, please, please comment below!  I'd love to hear feedback about anything and everything related to these posts.  Paying it forward doesn't help if you aren't listening to what people want or are speaking in a manner they don't understand.  So, help me help you!  Speak up!